SBNation.com - NFL From Our Editors

Notre Dame, Toby Gerhart, And College Football's Great Paradox

2009-11-29T04:11:26Z

Anytime an announcer chuckles and says, “I think this game may come down to whichever offense has the ball last,” you know you’re watching a great game. Are Notre Dame and Stanford the best teams the nation has to offer?

Definitely not, but they embody football’s great paradox: Often times, the most memorable games come from teams that won’t go down in history. I mean, the game of the year so far was between Miami and Florida State way back in September. Not exactly a clash of the titans.

But like last week’s Browns-Lions game, sometimes you’ll get two teams with good QBs, a few playmakers on offense, and that’ll wind up being insanely entertaining. And yeah, it helps if both teams are completely clueless on defense.

It’s crazy to think that the best games come from matchups with not-the-best teams, but then… It’s tied at 38, Toby Gerhart just ran someone over, and a few plays earlier, a lineman caught a pass off someone’s helmet. Crazy, right?

The Latest From Football's Alternate Universe

2009-11-28T02:06:00Z

All too often, we tend to ignore happenings in our parallel universe. With that in mind, here's a write-up of football happenings from the fifth dimension:

The United Football League's championship game ended Friday with the Las Vegas Locomotives victorious over the Florida Tuskers, 20-17. J.P. Losman of the Locomotives threw for 193 yards. On the Tuskers side of the ball, Brent Bollinger threw for two touchdowns and Tatum Bell rushed for 44 yards.

Shortly after the game, President Viggo Mortenson invited the Locomotives to the White House this winter.

Following with tradition, the Locomotives will be given dominionship of their own solar system and $40 billion in cash. The Tuskers were issued a baton and bicycle helmet, drafted into the Army of the Constitutional Republic, and sent to the Western Territories to conquer the province of New California.

This report has been brought to you by SBNation.com, where we offer name-brand cutlery at discount prices!

Brandon Marshall: Silencing His Critics, No Longer An Ass Clown?

2009-11-27T17:15:32Z

Remember a few months ago during training camp, when Brandon Marshall was demanding trades and doing his best diva impression? The title of this video, “Brandon Marshall Is An Ass Clown” sums up everyone’s thoughts at the time:

And to be fair, he was acting like a complete fool at that point. Particularly inspired were his efforts at just batting down any passes thrown his way in that practice video. But, well, this season’s been a 180-degree turn. Last night:

Between his unbelievable catches last night, his game-winning scores earlier this season, and generally dominant play all year long, Brandon Marshall is making a lot of his critics eat their words. Back in August, a popular refrain was, he’s pretty good, but he’s not THAT good.

But now, we have to admit: Maybe he is.

Josh McDaniels Says 'F**k' On Live Television

2009-11-27T02:41:45Z

Nothing beats a good live-TV f-bomb; fortunately, Broncos coach Josh McDaniel just obliged. (Obvious warning here: There is uncut swearing in the below clip.)

In case you couldn't tell, Josh McDaniels is very upset with his professional football team. At this point, it's safe to say NFL Network is very upset with Josh McDaniels.

Maybe Bill Belichick Is A Genius After All

2009-11-27T00:39:18Z

Because his assistants sure don't seem to be.

William C. Rhoden takes stock of the Belichick coaching tree today, and any football fan knows the verdict here. Once regarded as mini-genuises themselves, Eric Mangini, Charlie Weis, and Josh McDaniel have all experienced rapid declines in reputation. And when you throw in lesser lights like Romeo Crennel -- and the way the Patriots have continued to win regardless of staff departures -- and it's pretty much official: Bill Belichick does everything for the Patriots.

Thanksgiving Day Football: Not That I'm Not Thankful, But ...

2009-11-27T00:17:16Z

It's a Turkey Day tradition, right up there with brown gravy and quiet seething: football. And it's not like I'm not appreciative of the football -- for God's sake, if not for football we'd have to speak with our families, which, gross -- but I have a feeling today's contributions to the pigskin canon aren't going to have much of a shelf-life.

First, it was the yearly destruction of the Lions at the hands of the Packers. In the afternoon, you watched the Cowboys beat up on a hapless Raiders team. One question: Why would the NFL do this? Deadspin's Drew Magary used his column to ask that question today -- warning, link includes plenty of dirty language -- and the question is valid. Why schedule the horrid Raiders on Thanksgiving Day? Why not, oh, I don't know ... any other team in the entire league? I've yet to hear a valid answer for this.

So it is on Thanksgiving Day, which is all about giving thanks for what you have while noticing, in that uniquely American way, what you lack. Today, that lack has been entertaining football. Not complaining; just saying.

Matthew Stafford Is A Man, Part II

2009-11-26T15:24:35Z

Young Matthew Stafford became legend last Sunday with his zero-second heroics against the Browns. It was immortalized with the greatest satirical YouTube tribute song ever created. And now, thanks to NFL films and their fancy microphones, the legend grows — Stafford was wired on Sunday, which means we can now hear everything he was saying during that final sequence. Yes, it’s as awesome as you’d imagine, starting around the 4-minute mark:

Glorifying Big Hits: Where's The Line?

2009-11-24T20:29:43Z

So last night, our SENIOR editor, Mr. Chris Mottram, found himself in a heated debate.

On Twitter, of course. It went like so:

Mottram: Did ESPN really replace “Jacked Up” — the only Countdown segment worth a [damn] — with whatever “C’mon Man!” is?

Which prompted this reply:

Football Outsiders: @ChrisMottram Kinda hard to justify that segment and do any sort of concussion reporting at the same time.

And then it went back-and-forth.

Mottram: @fb_outsiders This isn’t the NFL Network. Why can’t ESPN glorify big hits?

FBO: @ChrisMottram Think there’s a difference between showing them and glorifying them with various ESPN personalities freaking out.

And it continued from there, because really, what’s more fun than a Twitter argument? And when you think about it, both parties make some good points, and both arguments have some meri—WHOA WHOA WHOA did you see this 6-year old get totally JACKED UP?!

At the 25 second-mark!!!

WOOOOOOOO! (head butts desk) HELL YEAH!
(punches wall…hand bleeding…licks blood)

(HT: My deadbeat best friend)

'House' And Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin

2009-11-24T15:21:08Z

On Monday night's episode of 'House,' the show finally acknowledged what everyone had been thinking for years: Omar Epps, who plays Dr. Eric Foreman, looks an awful lot like Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin. (I'll also assume that there was a patient with a very rare, nearly unexplainable medical condition, and everyone will think it is lupus, but it won't be be lupus, and then no one will know what to do. But not to worry, because Dr. House, in his very grumpy and crotchety ways, will begrudgingly save the day. Again, just assuming -- I've never actually seen an episode.)

Clearly this means Ben Roethlisberger's leading role in Shrek Forever After is finally going to happen.

(via WithLeather)

Stafford's A Man! (Man, A Man, A Man)

2009-11-23T22:54:59Z

This video has been making us laugh all day long, so please, as the workday comes to a close, enjoy it with us. The accompanying song accounts for probably 60% of the hilarity, 10% are the pictures, and then 30% is that Matt Stafford plays for the Detroit Lions.

The description? “Matthew Stafford is a man, something Brady Quinn, Mark Sanchez, and Josh Freeman are not. GO DETROIT LIONS.”

Possibly NSFW, definitely hilarious:

On Prime Time Tackling, And YouTube

2009-11-23T19:09:35Z

It’s not a big deal, but just a simple question: How is there no compilation of Deion Sanders missed tackles on YouTube??? Really, this is a man who made “matador tackling” into an ARTFORM. He needs to be recognized for this, no? There are endless highlight reels, his watershed, awesomely bad ’90s rap video, and plenty of other miscellaneous gems.

But no tackling?! Yesterday on Fox’s broadcast, Troy Aikman remembered that Deion considered tackling a “business decision.” Which prompted Drew Magary to reminisce:

He was notorious for avoiding contact during his career. But he was so good at covering receivers that he could get away with it. That’s what will always astound me about Deion Sanders, he was so good at playing defense that he didn’t even need to TACKLE, which you would think is a necessary skill for any great defensive player.

Indeed, Deion, ever the showman, had a response for Troy: "Hey, these shoulders are made for suits, not Brandon Jacobs." Perfect.

Finally, in the absence of an absurd collection of his “tackling,” here’s why he was allowed to get away with it (with an excellent soundtrack):

Steelers' Dennis Dixon May Bring Wildcat To Baltimore

2009-11-23T16:04:56Z

Ben Roethlisberger has a “concussion-oriented thing” that may keep him sidelined for Sunday’s game at Baltimore. Which wouldn’t normally be awful news for the Steelers considering they have the very adequate Charlie Batch. Only problem: Adam Schefter is reporting that Batch will undergo wrist surgery and be out for six weeks.

All of this means we may very well see Dennis Dixon make his first career start this week. Dixon isn’t much of a passer, but the Steelers do have a wildcat formation in which Dixon is the point man. If you recall his time at Oregon, you’ll know that this could potentially be a lethal formation. If he is the starter, expect plenty of the wildcat on Sunday. Of course, at Baltimore in primetime (Sunday Night Football) isn’t exactly the ideal place to debut a new Dixon-run offensive scheme, especially in a critical AFC North game for both teams.

We Have A Michael Vick Sighting

2009-11-23T14:26:23Z

I’m not entirely sure why, but Mike Vick’s first “explosive play” of the season feels noteworthy. Maybe because we were misguided to believe that he might (at least begin to) resurrect his career in Philly. He’s been in on 21 plays total this season. At the start of this video you can see the first one that’s gone for over 10 yards as he rushes for 34 on the Eagles’ opening drive:

Nice triple juke on Danieal Manning there, although I think Vick circa 2006 would've required one move to shake Manning and been gone to the endzone.

Not Even Pants Will Hold Devin Hester Back

2009-11-23T04:40:19Z

That's Devin Hester's tushie, and Devin Hester, doing what they can to try and win the game against the Eagles on Monday night. Much like Devin's pants, the Bears fell short. The Bears found themselves on the bottom tonight. They were able to put some points on the board during the backside of this game but it wasn't enough. They tried to keep up but ended up landing right on their buttocks.

And other butt-related things...

Video: Eric Wood's Horrific, No-Replay-Allowed Leg Injury

2009-11-23T00:27:24Z

Buffalo Bills offensive lineman Eric Wood broke his leg today. CBS wouldn't show viewers a replay of how. There is a valid reason for this, as you'll see below. But we believe in giving readers the freedom to make themselves unable to eat Sunday dinner with their families, should they so choose. Which should serve as a warning. Don't watch the below video if you don't want to be freaked out:

On three: AHHHHHH. AAHHHHHHHH. Ah. AHHHHHHH.

AHHHHHHHHH. No, seriously. Ahhhh. My knees hurt, and I'm just sitting with my computer. Ahhh.

Jim Zorn Opines On The Bleakness Of Modern Life

2009-11-22T23:33:30Z

Or maybe he's just talking about football. Either way, put on your black turtlenecks and horn-rimmed glasses, because things are about to get vaguely existential:

"I really believe this is a special team of players who will not just chuck things in," Jim Zorn said. "Being 3-7, it is bleak. You know, being 3-7 is bleak."

Zorn followed that up with a half-hearted but-we'll-come-back-and-keep-fighting spiel, which is probably true. The Redskins will likely not just pack in the season. But as they're also not going to win six games in a row, Redskins fans can be excused for giving in to the bleak, hollow sadness.

Video: Matt Stafford, Legend For A Day

2009-11-22T22:49:51Z

Entering Sunday's Browns-Lions game, the match-up was regarded as a curiosity more than anything. It's clear that we didn't give either team enough credit, as the game ended on last-second heroics by one Matt Stafford.

Stafford threw for 422 yards and five touchdowns against the Browns, which I suppose is equivalent to 275 yards, a touchdown, and perhaps a gift card redeemable at participating Domino's locations. He achieved legendary status, however, with his last-second heroics. I'll cede the floor here to our Lions blog, Pride of Detroit:

Stafford took a hard hit on the play and left the game with a shoulder injury, and Daunte Culpepper was set to come in for the last play of the game. Cleveland took a timeout to get ready for the last play, though, allowing Stafford to return despite doctors trying to keep him on the sideline. That timeout was very important, because Stafford connected with Brandon Pettigrew in the end zone for the game-tying touchdown. Stafford was in obvious pain after the score, but he managed to tough it out to put the Lions in position to win the game on the extra point. They did just that, as Jason Hanson booted the ball right through the uprights, giving the Lions an amazing 38-37 victory.

For your enjoyment, here's a full video recap of a supremely interesting game, capped by Stafford's performance as the clock ran out. May the allusions to Willis Reed commence!

Larry Johnson's Bengals Debut, As Simulated By Madden 10

2009-11-22T21:30:37Z

Larry Johnson's first on-field appearance in Bengals stripes is garnering a lot of attention -- quite possibly, more than is warranted. I say this because once Cedric Benson was ruled out of Sunday's game and Johnson was bumped up to second on the depth chart, I took the liberty of simulating the Bengals-Raiders game. Of course, I updated the roster to reflect the shake-up at running back.

The results? As underwhelming as possible! It's no surprise that virtual-reality Marvin Lewis didn't use Johnson much; his two carries were good for -2 yards. Meanwhile, starter Bernard Scott rushed 13 times for 106 yards, and the Bengals won by a surprisingly close 27-23 score.

Terrell Owens Goes 98 Yards, Dallas Hasn't Scored A Point All Day Long

2009-11-22T20:41:49Z

I’ve had terrible migraines for the past few days and let me tell you: if you have a bad headache, do NOT watch the Dallas Cowboys offense. Especially if you’re a Cowboys fan. After pulling a disappearing act last week in Green Bay, the Dallas offense has somehow been even worse at home against the hapless Redskins.

Roy Williams dropping passes, costly fumbles in the running game, Tony Romo giving that stupid shoulder shrug, Wade Phillips frowning on the sidelines like some dumb yokel… It’s all enough to make you try to pull your hair out. Did I mention my horrible migraine?

And then, to make matters worse, a friend just text messaged me about this play:

Would TO help this Cowboys team? Nahhhhhh

UPDATE: The Cowboys won the game, 7-6, but the Cowboys won the game 7-6. It still feels like the offense is trying to curb stomp the entire fanbase. And Tony Romo, and Roy Williams, and Wade Phillips... (gently rests head on coffee table, cries softly, sniffles).

Cedric Benson Inactive, The Larry Johnson Era Begins?

2009-11-22T20:00:43Z

From Adam Schefter:

Bengals RB Cedric Benson is inactive.

Bernard Scott will start in Benson's stead, which presumably bumps Larry Johnson to second on the depth chart against the Raiders' miserable run defense. Oh man. It's 2005 again. Oh man.